Posted in Cakes

Lemon Celebration Cake

We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my shit. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.

This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x

Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…

Kitchen Goss

I’m back in L town after TOO long. The shag pad is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls 😉 and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.

Ingredients

For the sponge:

  • 340g butter
  • 340g caster sugar
  • 6 eggs
  • 340g self-raising flour
  • zest of 3 lemons

For the lemon syrup:

  • 85g caster sugar
  • juice from 1 1/2 lemons

For the buttercream:

  • 3 tbsps lemon curd
  • swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)

https://bitchesthatbake.home.blog/2020/01/31/italian-meringue-buttercream/

For the splashes:

  • 4tbsps icing sugar
  • 1-3tsps water – add until very drippy

Decor:

  • Isomalt splash – tutorial coming soon don’t panic
  • cake board covered with fondant (optional)

Method

  • preheat oven to 180C and line 3 6inch round cake tins with baking paper
  • beat the shit out of your butter and sugar
  • add in the eggos one at a time – don’t worry if it looks curdled at this point
  • fold in flour, vanilla extract and zesty stuff
  • plop even amounts into your cake tins
  • bake for 20-30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean
  • start making your syrup – mix together the sugar and lemon juice
  • poke a few holes all over the cakes with a skewer or whatever pointy item you can lay your hands on
  • drizzle the syrup all over the sponges – this will keep them super *MOIST*
  • let cool completely in the tin
  • make your buttercream and add in the lemon curd to flavour
  • level cakes using a knife or a cake leveller to be extra poncey
  • place one cake layer on turntable or plate
  • add a thin layer of lemon curd, followed by a blob of buttercream
  • sandwich with the next cake layer and repeat the lemon curd and buttercream blob
  • put the final cake layer on top
  • smooth a thin layer of buttercream all around the outside of the cake – this is called a crumb coat
  • pop in the fridge for an hour (or longer) to set
  • once set, smooth over a thicker layer of buttercream – use a palette knife and cake scraper (or anything with a straight edge) to work the buttercream into nice sharp lines
  • set in the fridge for at least one hour
  • mix small amounts of buttercream with food colouring of your choice
  • bring your chilled cake out of the fridge
  • get small amounts of coloured buttercream on a palette knife (or just a normal knife) and swipe onto the cake
  • keep going until you’re happy
  • mix up your splash mixture – stir together icing sugar and water until very drippy consistency
  • add whatever colour floats your boat at this point – I went for gold but sort of just looks brown 😦
  • dip in a paintbrush and shake it like mad at your cake
  • To finish off I added an isomalt splash – TUTORIAL COMING SOON – and put onto a basic silver cake board which I iced with fondant to make it look less shit
  • cut and enjoy x

And that’s the end of that very long recipe – sorry for blabbing on. Hope you all have a wonderful week. Lots of love, Han, BTB x

Posted in Cakes

Lemon Drizzle Cake

We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.

I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x

Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…

Kitchen Goss

6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.

Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x

This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x

Anyway enough jibber jabber, on with the cake.

recipe from https://savvybites.co.uk/mary-berrys-lemon-drizzle-cake/

Ingredients

  • Cake:
  • 225g butter
  • 225g caster sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 225g self raising flour
  • zest of 1 1/2 lemons

lemon syrup:

  • juice of 1 1/2 lemons
  • 85g caster sugar

Driz:

  • juice of 1/2 lemon
  • 100g icing sugar

Decor:

  • zest of 1/2 lemon
  • edible glitter (this is essential)

Method – makes a 2lb loaf cake

  • whack your oven on 170C and line a 2lb loaf tin with baking paper
  • Beat the sugar and butter together until paler than me
  • Add in the eggos one at a time
  • fold in your flour
  • plop into your prepared tin and bang that in your oven for 30-35mins or until a skewer comes out clean
  • whilst your cake is still hot, make your lemon syrup
  • mix the lemon juice and sugar together
  • poke loads of holes in your warm cake and pour over syrup, this will make your cake even moister and even lemony-er
  • leave cake to cool in the tin whilst it soaks up all the juicy goodness
  • once cool take out of the tin
  • make your driz by mixing the lemon juice and icing sugar
  • using a spoon drizzle the drizzle
  • decorate with your remaining zest and lots of glitter x

Anyway that’s all for today folks, hope yall have a fun n fresh week xxx

Lots of luv, Han, BTB xoxo

Posted in Cakes

Biscoff Cupcakes

Lotus Biscoff has had SUCH a glow up these past few years. It has gone from the classic ‘hairdresser biscuit’ to now even having its own spread (which is excellent if you’ve not tried it).

Thought it was about time I jumped on the hype and I’m super glad I did. These little morsels are prettyyyyy fineeeee.

Before we get to it, here’s what you came for…

Kitchen Goss

I decided I needed more than a ratty handmade quote to decorate my room at uni this year. There was only one place for the job. The holy ground: B&M Bargains.

Honestly that shop is a genuine spa day, I always come out feeling rejuvenated and ready crack on with my elaborate interior design ideas.

Here are 3 reasons why B&M is better than an actual spa retreat:

  1. At B&M you THINK you’re spending your life savings on crap, but get to the checkout and are pleasantly surprised. Whereas at a spa day you blow £200 to get naked and listen to whale music.
  2. At B&M nobody touches you with oily hands (except that one time…)
  3. At B&M you come out with loads of useless clutter. Spa day you leave oily and empty handed 😦

Thank you for coming to my TED talk x

Right enough chit chat, let’s get crackin.

I’ve adapted this recipe from Baking Mad by adding in the spices which gives biscoff its unique flavah. (https://www.bakingmad.com/recipes/cupcakes-muffins/cupcakes/biscoff-cupcakes) Thanks for the inspo!

Ingredients

  • CUPCAKES
  • 150g butter
  • 150g light brown sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 150g self-raising flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp ground clove
  • 1/4 tsp all spice
  • BUTTERCREAM
  • 150g butter
  • 300g icing sugar
  • 175g biscoff spread
  • 2-3tbsp milk
  • DECOR
  • lotus biscuits
  • 20g lotus spread, melted
  • Edible glitter – optional if you’re boring

Method

  • Bang your oven on 180C
  • Beat the living daylights out of the butter and sugar
  • add in the eggs
  • fold in the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, clove, all spice and vanilla
  • plop into cupcake cases and bake for 20-25mins until golden n gorg
  • whilst those are chillin out, crack on with the buttercream
  • Beat the butter, icing sugar and biscoff spread together
  • add milk to thin out to a pipe-able consistency
  • Chuck the buttercream in a piping bag and pipe away
  • decorate with lotus biccies, melted spread and lots of edible glitter

And that’s it for today folks. Hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

If you’ve been a busy bee baking at home, send in a picture to my Instagram @bitches_that_bake for a once in a lifetime feature!!!

Lots of luv, BTB, Han xxx

Posted in Cakes

Self-saucing toffee pudding

You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*

As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.

It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.

Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:

Kitchen Goss

Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.

Rochdale Rat Piss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale piss in my mouth than drink this.

Jokes it’s actually alright, went down a treat.

this little cutie slurpin on some homebrew x

Back to biz

(recipe adapted from https://myfoodbook.com.au/recipes/show/caramel-self-saucing-pudding)

Ingredients

  • FOR THE SAUCE
  • 60g light brown sugar
  • 1tbsp golden syrup
  • 25g butter
  • 150ml boiling water
  • FOR THE SPONGE
  • 50g butter – melted
  • 75g caster sugar
  • 125g self raising flour
  • 100ml milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method – serves 4, double it if you want more you lard arse

  • get your oven on 180C and get a baking dish of your choice nice and greasyyyy
  • chuck the sauce ingredients (light brown shug, golden syrup, butter and boiling water) in a jug and give that a cheeky stir
  • Bang all the cake ingredients (butter, caster sugar, flour, milk and vanilla) in another bowl and give that a stir until smooth
  • put your batter in your greasy dish
  • carefully pour your sauce all over the top
  • bake for 30mins until the cake is golden and the sauce is at the bottom of the dish
  • Let sit for 5 mins cos it is literally bobby boiling
  • Crack open the ice cream, serve n enjoy x

Happy customer x

Blob of icecream. Blob into mouth. The end.

Posted in Cakes

Vanilla Latte Cupcakes

Now I’ve always been more of a tea gal myself, but the struggle of making it into anatomy on 4 hours sleep has forced me to branch out to coffee. I must admit I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to coffee – just about handling a brew with half a pint of milk and 236487293487 sugars. I do, however, enjoy a vanilla latte which is why these bad bois have been rustled up.

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Posted in Cakes

Raspberry & White Chocolate Cake

We all love cake. We all love choccie. But for all you dieters out there, I know the shame of putting on ANOTHER pound at slimming world is nearly enough to stop you from scoffing another piece of cake.  Not to worry, this cake has fruit in it so that means zero cals and one of your 5 a day!!! Ideal x

Continue reading “Raspberry & White Chocolate Cake”